I went to see RED over the weekend, at my brother’s suggestion. David’s been looking forward to this movie, owing to the all-star cast, the fact that it’s based off a DC comics property, and the trailer showing Helen Mirren with a gatling gun. As we headed out, I figured I’d give the movie a full-fledged review and grabbed my notebook.

I always take notes when I’m going to do a serious review–Gordon McAlpin recommends it, and it’s served me well. With notes, it’s much easier to remember specific examples to support your critical summations. But a funny thing happened at RED: as I was scribbling in the dark through the whole film, it ended up diminishing my enjoyment. RED was a lot funnier than I expected, and even though the conspiratorial convolutions of its plot were pretty standard fare, it did have plenty of fun action scenes and entirely likable characters. But with my attention to scrawling notes and thinking ahead to my review, I found my attention divided, and I missed some of the fun.

So, here’s my review: don’t review this movie! If you’re looking for something substantial–a film that reaches to your core, that says something about what it really means to be human–you’ll want to look elsewhere. But if you think it’s a little early to say goodbye to the summer action flicks, RED will be well worth your bucks. Plugged In has a review of it describing it as “a chocolate-drizzled deep-fried Twinkie of a movie.” Honestly, I couldn’t agree more with that.

And, lest you think that’s entirely a positive thing, allow me to quote another line, this one from our friend Gordon: “Too much junk food rots your teeth. Too much junk storytelling rots your brain.”